


Malibu Waves

by KatiePaterow



Series: Unseen Footage: Ben Gross [4]
Category: Never Have I Ever (TV)
Genre: 1x10, F/M, Post-kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:00:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24148573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatiePaterow/pseuds/KatiePaterow
Summary: Ben Gross's POV on episode 10 (+post-kiss)
Relationships: Ben Gross/Devi Vishwakumar
Series: Unseen Footage: Ben Gross [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1734304
Comments: 12
Kudos: 86





	Malibu Waves

Ben Gross has always been mindful of every little thing that he does with his life. How could he not? Aside from his academic life, he had nothing much to look forward to. Sure there are a lot of times where he takes advantages of not being able to think for a while just to not feel caged in that brain of his, but most of the time, he’s aware of it all and subconsciously takes little notes.

As mentioned before, things in the past few weeks have certainly been both weird and more difficult than his usual craving for someone to notice him. So as things got progressively harder, for his sake, he thought he’d take it upon himself to create something, some process he could use to check in with himself to be able to prevent specific embarrassing events from repeating themselves in the future. He’d told himself that whenever things got tougher on him again, he would check for any signs or symptoms that maybe he was close to crying in a stranger’s arm and airing his dirty laundry or _worse_. As he was listening to Devi right now, she sure as hell didn’t seem like she was about to break down but this was definitely _worse_.

Right after Devi excused herself to google how to get a credit card, Ben also marched right into his room, determined to get her to change her mind. If only he could talk some sense to her! But if he couldn’t, maybe he knew some people who could. Of course!

**Eleanor Wong**

Hey, can I meet

both of you at

the Toluca

Center ASAP?

I'm sorry who is

this?

This is Ben and

this is

absolutely urgent!

Ben who?

Gross?

Excuse you?

No, this is

literally Ben Gross!!!

Whatever. Just

meet me ASAP

Fine but you're

gonna have to

buy us frappucinos.

* * *

Having both Devi’s best friends’ approval to help her made Ben feel relieved. There was hope, after all, that Devi would not make the single biggest regret she could have her entire life. “Good. That’s great. I guess I’ll see you guys later?” Both Eleanor and Fabiola stared at him, confused.

Fabiola, after probably only being able to process the information shared to her, spoke quickly. “Wait, didn’t you say Devi ran away from home? Where is she staying right now?”

“Fab, isn’t it obvious?” Eleanor shakes her head at her, looking back from Ben to her, as if signalling her to put two and two together.

“Ohhhh.” She gasped in understanding which was short-lived, because right as she thought she got it, she felt even more perplexed by the situation. “But since when were you and Devi... civil with each other?”

“I mean, if you consider letting someone move in with you merely civil behavior.” All of a sudden, Eleanor Wong’s eyes were pointedly fixated on him as if she was accusing him of something. Not necessarily something bad, but something Ben was not ready to scream to the whole world. Not that he was ever planning to announce whatever _it_ was.

“You know what, that’s beside the point. Devi can fill you in with all the other details, but for now, you gotta help her.”

* * *

The whole drive to Malibu was the most stressful experience he had ever put himself into. The entire ride, he was choosing between things he should and shouldn't do and would and wouldn't. It was all too panic-inducing that whatever happened, happened. If he was facing a normal, day-to-day problem, he would have known the obvious answer directly but in that very moment with Devi in the car, every option he had was both good and bad. Right there and then, there wasn't a clear cut choice so he went with his gut and his gut chose Devi.

_I'm not gonna throw my life away for you._ He wished he meant that but he also thought that if he didn't, he would be a fucking dick for getting her late. Watching her rush off towards the beach, he could only hope that she got there in time. Having witnessed all that she's been through, he knew she deserved to have this moment. He hoped she was finally having it. 

A car door interrupts the dark and the silence. _Oh my God_. He realized he fell asleep while he was waiting for her. He instantly asked whether she got down there in time as soon as he finished rambling about drool. Devi was looking at him in a way she never did before. In fact, no one has ever looked at him that way before and he didn't quite know what to make of that. Something deep inside of him urged him to do something- anything. But he was apparently too slow because right after he told her he wanted to know she was safe, she did the one thing he never thought he could do that he had wanted. She kissed him. Though it lasted for barely a second, because he became overwhelmed with sudden _waves_ of emotions and thoughts and overall just... he felt a gleeful surprise that tugged at his heartstrings that he knew he was smiling.

If he had the capability to feel self-conscious about the grin he was wearing in his face, he would have but he didn't have it in him because Devi just kissed _him._ And he went back for more. To experience it one more time because he finally was able to prove to himself that it was real, he didn't just dream it or imagine it. 

And then it was over and he didn't know how to act or how to feel so he instead waited for Devi to react but as he judged from her face, she was just as lost as he was. But still she decided to say, "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me." Well, that bit definitely dampened the happiness that Ben was feeling but still, he recognized that that probably made sense. Despite the forced optimist he was talking into his brain, his face must have betrayed him because she began to frown at him. 

"Oh my God! I'm sorry! This is exactly the kind of thing I told you not to do before and-"

"David, it's not like I didn't kiss you back or whatever." He feigned nonchalance and try to pass it off as something that didn't bother him. They stared at each other, unsure of what the next step was. Devi turned her attention towards the car door and seemed as if she was about to go but she stopped.

"It's just that- I- I'm just really grateful for you. You've been here for me. You were the only who really was there for me and I'm so thankful that you're such an amazing- I'm glad you're not-"

Listening to her ramble, Ben was on high alert for every word that came out. He was afraid to be rejected and he was a piece of shit for thinking so. She said such wonderful things about him, yet the only thing he's gotten from what she was trying to say is the things that were left unsaid. It was just a spur of the moment type thing for her. It's not that he had any right to feel sorry for himself except for the fact that he thought that this was something else. But these aren't the thoughts that should be occupying his brain, it should be the fact that she got to say goodbye to her dad or how he finally had someone that saw him for who he was and hopefully, this _way_ , she would stay.

"-a pain in your ass anymore? Sure. You're welcome."

* * *

Sitting at the egde of his bed, he began to think back about what went down just a few hours ago. Yes, it still felt as surreal as they did while they were happening but at least now he was fully able to just take everything in slowly and minimize the chances of him spiraling down. He checked the symptoms and yes, he knew that it was undeniable anymore. He liked Devi Vishwakumar. He's had the symptoms for weeks and yet had only grew the balls to fully admit it with words to himself. Who knew all it took was a kiss?

He continued to sit there staring at whatever he was able to until his eyes landed on his phone. There was a new notification. A message from Eleanor. 

**Eleanor Wong**

I saw your locker, btw

???

u know how in film and

literature, everything means

something? from colors to

set design, etc.?

what's the point

of this honestly???

I would explain in it in the

manner of way I’m expected

to do as not only an

enthusiast of the theatricals,

but also as our school’s

youngest artist to ever get

the lead role...

but I guess my point is that,

I’m seeing more of you now

than in the past years that I’ve

known you. And I think

that’s a good thing. :)

At the time, redecorating his locker didn't seem like much. He hadn't even thought much of it except that after he and Shira broke up, he had to get the picture off and staring at such emptiness felt wrong. Eleanor wasn't his friend nor did he think he wanted her as one but still, it felt an weird kind of nice that someone had felt there was more to him and saw so much more to him now. Maybe there was, he has yet to think about that.

**Author's Note:**

> So, first of all, I'm sorry if that kissing scene sucked ass. I just don't think I'm gonna get better about writing about people kissing but I do hope I did a good job at describing how Ben felt instead. Also, I'm kinda happy that I've finally finished all of my s1 ideas so I can now dive into my s2 ones! Anyway, I hope u guys enjoy this one! <3


End file.
